Reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight
by YaoiSlash
Summary: The title says it all. REVISED AND BETAED 7/3/11


So, I read (more like skimmed) the Twilight books. I just have to say this: Comparing twilight to Harry Potter is an insult. It is STUPID. Meyer CANT write. And she isn't very creative either. So I decided to write a little list.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present: Reasons why Harry Potter is better than Twilight. Part 1

1. Harry Potter characters aren't perfect. Bella is boring and whiny. Edward is a 104 year old virgin who hasn't even had a girlfriend before... I'm sorry but that just doesn't happen. Harry has flaws. He is a rule breaker and has emotional breakdowns. Hermione is extremely intelligent but at the same time, bossy and annoying. Ron walked out on Harry in the last book- that doesn't make him perfect at all.

2. The world! There's Quidditch, wizard bands, shops, a whole ministry! Sweets, villages, transport ways, clocks, pictures and oh so many things! What do the so-called-vampires have in Twilight? Nothing!

3. The names... Don't get me STARTED on the names. Lord Voldemort even sounds evil... James definitely doesn't sound evil. Dumbledore sounds good. Edward- Jacob? Plain names! Draco Malfoy is the bad boy of the school and his name sounds royal- like he believes he is- as well as someone who might be snobby. I really doubt that LAUREN sounds snobby to anyone who listens to her name alone.

4. Creatures. Elves, giants, centaurs, unicorns, Dementors, REAL VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES and Hippogriffs. I mean, come on... what more could you want?

5. Cheesy lines in Twilight such as, "The lion fell in love with the lamb." I am sorry but I'm surprised Bella didn't start laughing her head off when Edward said that to her! And people call it a MODERN love story. Pfft...

6. Hogwarts! I have a hard time dealing with the fact that Hogwarts isn't real. I mean, how the hell can JK Rowling come up with all that stuff in her mind? Moving staircases, dungeons, moving portraits and enchanted ceilings! Wow... but the school Twilight has is... Forks High School. Boring much?

7. Rowling cared about her characters and got us liking them only to kill some of the good ones in the end. That caused a deep emotion to rise inside us but we LOVED it! Fred died, Dobby died, Hedwig died... I was SAD but it made the book better! If there is a battle, people SHOULD die... and not just the bad guys!

8. Harry Potter teaches us lessons. Sacrifices are important sometimes. Good triumphs over evil. Never give up. Death is just another journey and shouldn't be feared! What does Twilight teach us? Kill yourself if you lose your boyfriend or girlfriend...

9. Rowling's imagination and creativity is brilliant. The spells and so many of them are very difficult to think of and JK Rowling NAILED it!

10. This one is sort of related to the previous reason but different. Robert Pattinson was just as 'handsome' back in Goblet of Fire. People only like him because of his character in Twilight and how perfect he is (by playing the character otherwise no one called him perfect before.) That hardly counts as fair! Daniel Radcliffe and the rest are known for their acting and their characters- not because of their looks.

11. Meyer is sexist. Bella always counts on Edward- Edward will do this, Edward will do that. That ruins everything women have said about being equal to men.

12. Come on! Sparkling vampires? Are you KIDDING? Vampires used to turn to dust in the sun. They used to sleep in coffins and drink human blood. Vegetarian vampires? Beautiful vampires who say stuff like, "Take care of my heart. I've left it with you." Is that supposed to be a JOKE? NOT FUNNY, MEYER! Vampires used to be cool!

13. Twilight flaws in the plan. If Edward's body is unable to change, how the hell did he manage to get Bella pregnant? Harry Potter has no flaws like this.

14. Problems faced by the characters: Harry has been TORTURED by his aunt and uncle for 10 years! They hardly gave him anything to eat, never bought him new clothes and completely ignored what he had to say. He has to deal with the fact that Lord Voldemort is somewhere out there; ready to kill him with a huge number of followers... one of them may even be his Potions teacher... Bella's problems: she's moving to Forks. She's not pretty enough for Edward. Sparkling vampires want to hunt her down and kill her but she knows nothing will happen because she has 7 vampires protecting her. Those aren't problems...

15. Snape is awesome and you get to hate him. How many people expected him to turn out to be the GOOD guy even AFTER he killed Dumbledore? How many people expected Dumbledore's past to be oh-not-so-perfect compared to the wizard he became LATER? How many people expected HARRY to be a Horcrux?

16. The Harry Potter plot is NOT predictable. From the first book to the last book, everyone wondered whether Harry was going to die. Bella was perfect and Edward wasn't going to let her die. Edward was practically invincible so HE couldn't die. And Jacob- well, Bella really didn't care much about him.

17. Fans. The Twilight fans are extremely hyper and have stupid things to say, involving only two arguments: Edward is hot and it's a love story. Pfft. Harry Potter fans know how to spell and learn something from the books, making them more intelligent than chipmunks who read Twilight. They tend to attack anyone who has even THOUGHT about saying something bad about Twilight which I hardly think is fair...

18. Ha! Sexiness isn't a justification for Harry Potter's existence. If you ask many Twilight fans why they like Twilight, they tend to say that the characters and actors are sexy. We're talking about the books here and shouldn't judge them on the sexiness of the characters... judge them on the personalities for God's sake!

19. Rowling does not ruin mythology. Vampires are vampires and werewolves are werewolves unlike in Twilight, the vampires are something like sparkly fairies and the werewolves are shape-shifter. What the hell?

20. The HP movies were better. We can prove that by examining what the official critics have to say. According to Rotten Tomatoes, Sorcerer's Stone- 78%, Chamber of Secrets- 82%, Prisoner of Azkaban- 89%, Goblet of Fire- 89%, Order of the Phoenix- 77% while Twilight got a 43%. Hmm...

21. Avada Kedavra is so cool... the Killing Curse that kills people in two seconds! I bet if you put Harry Potter and Edward Cullen in a fight, this is how it will go:

Edward: You cannot come near Bella. I will kill you before you even think about it.

Harry: *Rolls his eyes* AVADA KEDAVRA!

Edward: *Dies*

Bella: *Screams and thinks about ways to kill herself.*

22. JK Rowling took YEARS to write the first Harry Potter book alone and it shows in the prose and the ideas and her imagination... It took Meyer only a few months and THAT shows too -_-

23. Publishers. JK Rowling has them and they make sure the book is even awesome-er before it gets published while Meyer doesn't have them... even if she does, not good ones! Bella shouldn't be making pancakes for Charlie in one paragraph and he shouldn't be eating out of a cereal bowl in the next. Again -_-

24. Potter has tiny details that turn out to be so important later. They seem really insignificant in the beginning but they always turn out to have a bigger meaning. For example, the locket of Regulus Black is mentioned in Order of the Phoenix. I bet half the people read on, not caring about who the hell R.A.B was. Then, it turns out if Harry doesn't find out who R.A.B was and where the freaking locket is now... Voldemort will never be defeated. Awesome much? Keeps you wondering... And in the first book, on the chocolate card, it said Dumbledore was famous for defeating Grindelwald. Who Grindelwald was, you didn't find out till the 7th book! And you had forgotten about him until then. When his name comes up in the final book, you're like: Wait, I've heard that name before. Where? Where? Where? Am I right?

In Twilight, all the two ever do is say cheesy stuff to each other. I swear, if Meyer had missed out some of those lines, the book would have been like 50 pages long! Then, in the second one, Bella keeps describing the hole in her chest. WE ALREADY KNOW YOU'VE GONE EMO, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT ALREADY! (I apologize to the emos for the comparison)

25. Harry Potter is not perfect. Bella and Edward get in teeny wheeny fights and then Bella takes in his hotness and makes up with him. What the hell? In the sixth book, Hermione and Ron have so many fights- they try to make each other jealous too! Ginny and Harry: Ginny had a boyfriend before Harry. Harry kissed Cho before Ginny! Its normal teenage stuff...!

26. Harry Potter has shades of gray while Twilight is black and white. Explaining: Harry Potter has characters that have both a bad side and a good side! Then there are people you thought were good who turned out to be bad and the people you thought were bad who turned out to be GOOD! Those are twists and they add colour to the story (in this case, more shades.) Twilight has the good vampires and the bad vampires- not very interesting...

characters. Okay, I'm giving examples in this so it's going to be a bit long.

Twilight:

Mike: Supporting character who is only mentioned when he is asking Bella out on a date or something.

Jessica: Only mentioned when Bella is criticising her of gossiping too much.

Angela: Only mentioned when Bella is appreciating why she is quiet and lets people have their space but understands them too.

Heck, Esme: Only mentioned whenever something bad happens!

Tyler: HE ALMOST FLATTENED BELLA WITH HIS FUCKING VAN AND HE WAS HARDLY MENTIONED AFTER THAT CHAPTER!

I mean, don't make extra characters if you aren't going to use them.

Harry Potter:

Draco Malfoy: (Just 'cause I love him) He's mentioned all the time and believe it or not, people START to like him no matter how much of a jerk he is in the book- because he is mentioned so much that like, he is one of the main characters. In Book 6, he IS one of the main characters and you feel sorry for him by the end. Why? Because he is a GOOD supporting character.

Neville Longbottom: A complete IDIOT who has no clue about anything BUT Herbology. Then, why do we like him? Because the main characters do and he is likeable. Why? Because he is mentioned so much that he becomes a huge part of the book!

Potter signifies love. Voldemort was unable to kill Harry because of his mother's sacrifice and love for him. That makes sense because Voldemort was so evil that he could not take the force of something so good. LOVE is a big factor in the whole Potter series. Seriously, people call Twilight LOVE stories... they think it's cute when a dude sneaks in a chick's room to watch her sleep? That is stalking and it's creepy, not romantic...

Friendship. Bella is only friends with Jacob and she doesn't give a shit about any of her other so-called-friends in her school. Harry is ready to SACRIFICE himself for the whole of the WORLD! That includes his best friends' families and even the Dursleys! It's about unity and how friends should stick by each other and not dump each other for a girl or boy. Which Bella and Edward do... all the time. The only character I like in the Twilight series is Jacob- why? Because he was the only person who was GENUINELY nice to Bella and actually made her smile because of his personality and not his hotness.

27. This one is brilliant. The Death Eaters are WAY more awesome than the Volturi. All the Volturi do is sit down on their thrones and wait for some news to reach their ears so they can roll their eyes and send guards to kill them if they want to. If they think it's serious enough, they go, talk it out and come back! The Death Eaters kill people! That makes them EVIL... something to be scared of! And yes, I really think there should be a Volturi-Death-Eater match and I BET that the Death Eaters will win hands down.

Bella completely DIES when Edward LEAVES her. What the...? That doesn't happen- not anymore! And not when you've been together for like a few months... I can understand if they've been together for a decade or something. Harry sees his godfather getting killed in front of his eyes. He has no parents. He gets mocked on in the fourth book... does he go emo? NO! He sulks for a while and then, what? He gets on with his life because he knows he has to!

Voldemort is awesome! The best villain EVER! He looks evil, he sounds evil and he IS evil. He kills Snape for a fucking wand! He will kill anyone who gets in his way. And he is so evil that people are afraid to say his name. James. Victoria. Laurent. What the hell? Sucky names with no villain looks on them- just other vampires described to be beautiful as hell. I mean, seriously, doesn't this prove Meyer looks for looks only in a character?

Ginny: Bella is whiny, girly, unable to stick up for herself and completely dependent on Edward. She thinks that all the guys are mad about her but she also thinks she's plain which makes me think that she has a split personality. Ginny is confident and brave. She looks out for Harry and she doesn't try to commit suicide when he leaves her in the sixth book. Enough said.

Jacob: Jacob is in fact the only character I like in Twilight. And the only one I feel sorry for. But Jacob is insensitive and a bit immature. He wants Bella, Bella and Bella. He is ready to ditch his friends for her- that happens in New Moon if no one remembers. Ron on the other hand sticks with Harry until the end. I admit he walks out on him a couple of times but he returns, cursing himself for being so stupid. Personally, that makes him much better than Jacob.

The Weasleys and Esme: Esme is described to be motherly. She is described to be very loving but surprisingly, she only speaks twice in the book. Mrs Weasley is practically a second MOTHER to Harry. She supports him and wants the best for him always. I'll say... better than Esme.

28. Typical teenage story that revolves around a school setting has a bitch in it. Lauren is the bitch in Twilight but just not the good one. DRACO MALFOY is the bitch in Harry Potter WITH followers on either side of him and he is EVIL. And he IS AWESOME. What does Lauren do? Roll her eyes and make faces at Bella? What the hell? What does Draco do? Torture Harry about his parents- make fun of Ron's condition and constantly pick on Hermione for being a Mud blood.

James or Victoria or ANY stupid villain in Twilight: James lured Bella into a trap and then fucking made a video of her. Didn't he have enough brains to just KNOW that Edward will be coming? Voldemort, in the first one, Commanded Quirrel again and again to kill Harry even though he couldn't lay his hands on him. Just shows how desperate he is to get him killed. Harry and Voldemort DUELLED in the fourth book. Voldemort shouted Avada Kedavra, determined to kill Harry but something happened. At least SOMETHING happened!

And the Death Eaters: The Death Eaters get things done unlike the Volturi. That's all I have to say...

29. The effects. Seriously, when I watched Twilight and the part where Edward walks out into the sunlight, I had to rewind it four times to just take in that he was sparkling. It looked nothing like it! I agree that the first two Potter movies had pretty stupid effects but then, they were YEARS back, before all the advanced technology. Goblet of Fire had an AWESOME dragon. Then the spells and the sparks coming from the wands are almost believable. I mean, the effects make it impossible NOT to believe in the movies...

30. The history of the characters. Every character in Harry Potter has a history. There was some history in Twilight about the Quileute legends and all but that's about it. And it wasn't written very well. Harry Potter characters have history and darn interesting ones too!

31. Rowling EXPLAINS everything. Why Snape hated Harry but saved his life whenever he was in trouble. Why Ludo Bagman kept helping Harry. Why Draco turned out to be so insecure... It isn't like that in Twilight. Some things are explained and some things are not. Connect the pieces, please... it makes a story better.

32. Radcliffe (Harry) vs. Pattinson (Edward): One thing to say, Pattinson couldn't act in Twilight. Why? Because he didn't like his character! If you don't LIKE the character and can't relate to him, how the hell are you supposed to play him? I bet Daniel loved all the books and liked Harry's character- that is why he acted so well. I can't even imagine anyone else being Harry now...

33. Lautner (Jacob) vs. Rupert Grint (Ron): Taylor is hot, I admit that. He is my biggest celebrity crush but that doesn't mean he can act. He's not a very bad actor but no comparison with Rupert. Rupert's expressions are just brilliant and no actor has made me laugh harder than he does.

34. No versus in here... just Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy): The glares, smirks and sulking are awesome. He couldn't be played by anyone else.

35. People may or may not know this. BUT DOES TWILIGHT HAVE A THEME PARK BASED ON IT? No! There is a theme park being made which is based on Harry Potter alone! Can you say AWESOME much?

36. I just felt this deserved a place on its own. Ron and Hermione's kiss was brilliant! The passion in it and it was probably at one of the most unexpected moments ever... right in the middle of a war! I don't see Edward and Bella's one kiss matching that one. Plus, it wasn't all detailed so it didn't really want to make you puke.

37. I completely forgot about the Yule Ball! :) I mean, it is much more amazing than the prom. -_- That kind of sucks, I'm sorry but it does.

38. Cullen looks JUST like her dad (dads hair) and mom's eyes. Harry James Potter looks just like James but with Lily's eyes. Copycat...

39. Sirius Black- Motorcycle, Black hair with the length, black as a last name oh yeah and the ability to turn into a giant canine at will

Jacob Black- A BAD VERSION OF SIRIUS

40. A love triangle between a girl her best friend and her best friends nemesis

(Lily/James/Snape) (Bella/Edward/Jacob)


End file.
